ministry

A Personal Experience

Scott Carnes Finding My Way , , , , , , , , , , ,
A Personal Experience

I am a pastor in the United Methodist Church and how we become pastors is way different than in other denominations.  After seminary I was “commissioned.”  If you don’t know what that means…well, you are in good company: join those of us in the United Methodist ministry process.  It is usually defined by what it isn’t.  What we know is that commissioning gives us the authority of pastors, but it is not ordination.  Two years after being commissioned can then come ordination.  In our system, that gives a pastor “tenure,” you could say.

Okay, I share all of that in order to explain that I am commissioned as a pastor in the church, currently, and next year I hope to be ordained.  Before being ordained, though, a pastor is required to go through Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) in order to hone pastoral care skills.

I have just concluded my chaplaincy internship at BroMenn Regional Medical Center.  It was twelve weeks that was intense.  It was emotionally intense as the process forced us to delve into our pasts and innermost feelings.  It was also intense because I was burning the candle at both ends and exhausted as I tried to be in two places at once:  church and hospital.

I hope that as I come come through this week I can begin feeling “caught up” and “back-on-track.”  Rather than an intense feeling of disorganization and chaos, I hope that my focus and commitment to ministry is the part of my life where I will experience intensity.  So that is the course I am on now as I look back on CPE and look forward to full-time and fully focused church ministry!

Blessings,

The above video was produced by Scott Carnes, April 2013.

Ministry In A New Place

Scott Carnes Finding My Way , , , , , , , , , , ,
Ministry In A New Place

Rural Church on Cape Breton Island found at: http://tripwow.tripadvisor.com/slideshow-photo/rural-church-on-cape-breton-island-alma-canada.html?sid=10002142&fid=tp-5490891

 I found out last November that I would be leaving Pontiac First United Methodist Church as they began the process of getting their budget in line and eliminated my position.  Since then, and especially after we announced that I would be moving, I have been asking myself a lot of questions about where my gifts and liabilities lie and I’ve been pondering what sort of church setting would be “right” for me.

As you might imagine, there is a lot of anxiety as you wait for the Bishop to make a decision about where to send you, especially when you are one half of a clergy couple, as I am.  I mean, what affects me also affects my wife’s career in a big way.  Well, here I have been; waiting…and pondering…and filled with anxiety and I, then, suddenly found myself at peace this week.

What happened last weekend?  Did I get answers? No.  Did I have a revelation about my gifts for ministry?  No.  Did I realize where the perfect church might be?  Nope.  None of the above.

First of all, I thought about all of the people who don’t have jobs and that put my job security in perspective.  I have a job.  That is not a small thing these days!  I thought about the way, in some other denominations, pastors have to find their own jobs and I realized that my wife and I could be sending applications out trying to find a magical place where we could be in ministry within driving distance of one another.  What a headache that would be.

More importantly, I put my trust in the Bishop and cabinet.  Oh, now, I’m not overly idealistic about our system and I know its not perfect…yet as I’ve begun to look at the churches that are opening up on my conference’s website, I realize that I cannot know which church would provide me an opportunity to stretch my legs, I don’t know the churches well enough to know where I might be effective in ministry and helpful to that church, and I would be at a loss to know which churches would be supportive and nurturing to a young, new pastor like me.

A peace came over me when I realized that there were people who may actually know something about these churches and, because my District Superintendent has spent time with me, I realized there is a Bishop and cabinet that know something about me.

There are people who are looking over these churches and my fellow clergy and I and they see a bigger picture.  They aren’t infallible and they don’t always get it right, but I was able to let go of some anxiety.  Also, I simply realized that I have no control over the situation.  Hey, there’s no reason to hold onto anxiety when one has no control over the situation.  But most importantly, I looked back on my ministry, so far, and I thought about the people with whom I have done ministry.   No matter where I was:  Northern Wisconsin, Southern Illinois or the NorthShore of Chicago I found good ministry.  Not because I -or the church- was perfect, but because churches are a place of people and God.

Each community and the church I served in that community was filled with people who were yearning to love and be loved.  Rev. Victor Long used to say, when I worked with him in Marion, “I’ve never had to convince a person that they were a dirty rotten sinner” but it is surprisingly hard to convince people that God really loves them.

People everywhere need to know they are loved and can, themselves, be freed to act with love.  Each church has possibilities for great ministry: from the smallest country church to the largest ‘mega’ church.  Eventually my appointment will be announced and I will have new anxiety about different questions, but, for now, I’m going to trust the United Methodist Church, try not to think about it, and find peace that great ministry can happen wherever I might go.

Looking Inward.

Scott Carnes Finding My Way , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments
Looking Inward.
Yes, this is my MRI from two months ago and that is my tumor.
We still don’t have a proper name for it.

In just a few hours (at noon) I will be undergoing a special MRI.  The doctors are going to be placing small sensors all over my head and doing a scan that will let them see what they are doing during the surgery.  If you’ve ever seen Dr. Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy doing a TV version of brain surgery, I imagine it will be a lot like that: without all the distractions, sex and death.  This MRI will be loaded into their equipment on Monday morning and they will be able to see what they are doing inside of my head.

What we were not aware of, until Friday, is that these sensors are kind of like green lifesavers.  That’s not the good part.  Wait for it.  They stick them on my head before the MRI at noon on Sunday and I have to keep them on until (and throughout) the surgery.  Okay, I know that in the grand scheme of things that doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but we planned a big dinner out with some of our family Sunday night.  You know, a last nice meal before the surgery.  Now it appears I’ll be going to a nice restaurant in Saint Louis looking like some sort of Star Trek alien.

Well, at least I won’t actually see anyone that I know.  That’s the upside.  Oh- and it’s the Super Bowl, so we’re likely to be alone in the restaurant, so no one may see me anyway!

On a related note I learned something else recently.  One of my mother-in-law, June Berry’s, friends had a brain surgery and had a stressful experience as she was coming out of anesthesia. As she woke up she found that she was being put into an MRI.  You can imagine that it was all very disorienting for her!  It was a very stressful experience and June’s friend wanted me to be warned about it, especially because it was a similar surgery with my same surgeon at the same hospital.  I have good news.  Well, they do it differently now.  This is the cool part:  They now have an MRI right in the operating room so when they are finished with the surgery and I’m still on the operating table (and still knocked out) they will do an MRI right there and then to make sure there is no swelling, bleeding, and to make sure that no part of the tumor remains.

Isn’t it remarkable that we live in an age where my surgeon can scan my brain and see what he is doing as he operates?  Isn’t it remarkable that we live in a time when we can have MRI’s, which were on their own so rare even just two decades ago, right in the operating room?

Anyway, I just wanted to share a quick update. I hope that this note finds my friends and family doing well and I will be praying for all of you!  May God’s blessings be evident o you all on this Sunday morning!

I am especially praying for those of you at First United Methodist Church Pontiac who are working through the Fruitful Congregations material in my absence.  I pray for the Holy Spirit to be upon you all in this discernment process, to show you a way forward, and to build up your passion and excitement for ministry in our church, community and the world!!!

Blessings & Peace!

Scott