Finding My Way – Page 17 – Carnes Family Web

24Nov200728Jan2015

I Have Been Violated.

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

Okay- this is freaking me out a little bit. I got back to school and thought I would drive out to Lincolnshire to the IMax and watch Beowulf. I didn’t want to drive half an hour just to find a sold out show or something, so I purchased my tickets on-line on Fandango. I even had to setup an account on Fandango…so it’s not like I set this up and don’t remember… Next thing I know, I log into Facebook and it is on my mini-feed that I purchased a ticket for iMax to see Beowulf.

Somehow Fandango knows my facebook or vice-versa and it got connected through my email address and wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am…. My business is being announced on facebook. Has anyone else had this issue? Does it feel weird to anyone else? I’m sure it is a facebook application that I’ve downloaded that ended up doing this, but still……..

16Nov200728Jan2015

Bullies.

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

This morning on 103.5 the morning talk show was about school bullying. They were discussing Bill O’Reilly’s appearance on The View. It was interesting to listen at first, but then as calls came in, I realized that no one was talking about the underlying issues!?! Why is it that children bully and is it a new thing? So far as I know there has always been schoolyard bullying. It is the tactics that have changed and, perhaps, escalated.

As I consider what it was like to grow up, I think that bullying was simply a part of my formative years. I’m not saying that it is right, but I think it natural as children learn about interpersonal relationships. In fact, having been the victim of bullying (although I never thought of myself as that) helped me to become the person I am today. In fact, it is still a part of my life, today…does bullying ever stop? We become more sophisticated with how we bully, but it continues throughout our lives. We perpetrate bullying and we are victims even as we move through adulthood – we just have new names for it: “business”, “politics”, and “war”.

I don’t believe that bullying is something that we can stop. I’m not even fully sure we should – even if we could… I believe we must accept that bullying is part of our growing up process, but we can not accept the escalation of violence and the new ways in which bullying now takes place. Most of all, we must work toward the elimination of hate crimes that happen daily in schools. We must make schools a safe place for our children and we can accept nothing less…. but can we control the actions and words of others? No.

We can only control ourselves: our own actions and our own words. We must consider this when dealing with the issue of bullying. How do we model kindness for others? How do we change attitudes? It is not by creating a new law or rule! It is not by retaliating! We can only affect a change of heart when we share the love that God gives us. We can not simply implement new District-wide policies or put more police on-campus. We must mobilize our churches to go into the schools.

First UMC in Green Bay has begun to do this. They do not go preach or evangelize in the school – that wouldn’t work (or be legal). They have 80 adult volunteers that volunteer as aids in the classroom. They are there to show the children that they are important and loved. I have seen this first hand and I have to believe that it is working. It doesn’t just help the child experience God (LOVE). It can be a deeply spiritual event for the adults who volunteer without even the uttering “God” or “Jesus”.

13Nov200728Jan2015

I’m Back!

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

Wow, it has been a crazy few weeks. I had a midterm exam in Old Testament, on which I did well. I turned in my midterm essay for History…don’t know how I did on that, yet! I completed my practica in my United Methodist Worship class (we develop and led a worship service) and we did well on that (my litany was only so-so, it didn’t “draw on the theme of the service”). Tonight I have a quiz on the latter prophets, my rule of life is due on Wednesday and Thursday I have a paper due on Stookey’s Eucharist book.

I write all of that only to excuse my on-line absence over the past few weeks, but now I’m back. This weekend I should have been reading for my Old Testament, but instead I am catching up today. I went to Janesville, WI to worship with a church (the church for whom I led a youth retreat a few weeks ago). It was fun to see the youth again and to get away from the seminary for the morning. When I got back Sunday afternoon my friend Jill, from Green Bay, had just arrived in Chicago, so she picked me up on her way down into the city and we were able to catch up. I came back up on the train around 8 p.m. and was able to read some old testament on the train home although I was sitting near to a nut case and it was hard to concentrate. I should tell you the story:

This strange guy starts hitting on this odd girl who sat next to him. He starts telling her everything about him and his job. She clearly was not interested after just a minute or two and you could see her eyes roving for an empty seat away from the guy. Everything about her verbal and physical cues should have told him that she wasn’t interested, but he asks for her number and she wouldn’t give it to him. (smart girl) but he just keeps on it – all the way until she was off the train and then he continued swearing and kept muttering about how she was playing hard to get…. weirdo!

It has been a busy but fun weekend. Now I just have to get back to work today so that I am well prepared for tonight’s class.

30Oct200728Jan2015

Hoping For Mail.

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

Now that I’m in seminary I get way TOOO excited when there is a letter waiting in my mailbox. I could be someone writing me a note, it could be a check, it could be a note saying “you have a package waiting”, and there are always bills, too… I feel a ‘let down’ when I go to my box and there is nothing waiting for me (or if it is just a bill). Does anyone else ever feel that?

There is a sense of anticipation for me as I go for the mail and as I draw closer that anticipation grows as well.

Two weeks ago we turned in a paper on the church calendar for our United Methodist Worship class. One of the things that becomes startlingly clear as I read Calendar: Christ’s Time for the Church by Laurence Hull Stookey (Abington Press, 1996) is that in American culture today we have forgotten what it is to relish in anticipation. I open up my Mail program for instant email. I go online and watch my favorite television show instantly on a whim. I can purchase something immediately, online, and have it shipped to my home the very next day. Our world is full of instant gratification.

The story of Christ is a very different story. It is a story of waiting and hoping. In fact, even before Mary began her anticipation the world had been anticipating. Why is it, then, that we skip advent. Why is it, then, that Christmas turns into one day? Christmas is a season beginning on December 25 and Advent is the season of anticipation for four weeks prior.

What if we put away the wreaths and holiday packaging and left them until later. What if we pushed Christmas away until December 25 so that we could truly appreciate its absence right up until that most joyous season begins?

Several pastors I know do not like to use Christmas Carols during advent. Churches tend to hate this. They hate to wait until Christmas because they want it to feel like Christmas all through lent. I think this is because in America we hate to wait. Perhaps during the upcoming advent season you and your family can find some anticipation amid a season of craziness. Perhaps you can learn to appreciate the excitement of anticipation… Perhaps you will more fully embody Christ when you learn of the excitement of His coming!

24Oct200728Jan2015

The Church Is Falling Apart.

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

The job of a prophet is to speak the word of God. Here it is:

Love the Lord your God with all of your being.

Stop worshiping Baal.

Stop squandering what I [God] have giving you.

Love your freakin’ neighbor.

The list goes on, but these Truths are not just ancient wordplay, nor are they recent revelations. These are (badly paraphrased) words of God spoken through the prophets. The prophets were not always revered (or even tolerated) by the people, but they laid down the law on behalf of God. Let me tell you a couple of things:

We live in a world which has forgotten what it is like to invite God to dwell with us. We go to church once a week, perhaps, but we don’t know how to live out our faith anymore. Mostly this comes about because our church leaders no longer model faithful living. Pastors want to have a nice car, house, pension, etc. so how in the hell can pastors expect others to drop their nets and follow them when they still have their net grasped in their hand? We forget what it is to be inspired and instead fill our pulpits with mediocrity.

Laity in the church must claim their ministry. Our laity must go out doing the work of the poor at the danger of losing life and limb. We want to insulate ourselves from harm or death and our churches worry about lawsuits. The truth is that our ministry into the world can not be without risk. The early Christians risked death by meeting together. When was the last time you risked death by going to church? We must be fully committed to embodying our faith.

God is calling us to an authentic faith. God wants us to drop our selfish ambition and greed to follow the life of Christ. That can not be accomplished once a week nor is it accomplished in church council or slick advertising. Our churches need to grow, but not in numbers. Our churches (and their pastors) much first grow in spirit and commitment. Let our churches speak loudly and with relevance to a broken world. Let us proclaim the truth, even when it is hard to hear.

Our churches must begin to model stewardship. Forget these ridiculous buildings and projection systems and fancy coffee/bookshops in our churches. Let start with basic Biblical literacy and interpretation and if we can learn to do that – let’s take our resources and begin to change the world (not our foyers). What??? You think that it takes a nice looking building and fancy equipment to have lots of people? Our churches don’t need a lot of uncommitted people, we need to model a committed faith that uses resources to change lives not to build a bigger freakin’ budget.

Our churches must strive to help our communities and the people in them to be transformed physically, emotionally and spiritually. We might pretend to do mission in a sterile and safe way with part of our ‘budget’, but that just isn’t good enough for God. God said it best of all “Love the Lord your God…and your neighbor as yourself”. God didn’t say just love your neighbor with the scraps that are leftover. God said to love your neighbor AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. This isn’t easy, but if we begin to live more simply we can also begin to simply provide for those around us.

It is time for change. Let’s not take baby steps. Let’s not downplay the significance of our sin. Let’s not molest the Bible until it makes us feel justified in our lifestyle. Instead – Let’s start a spiritual transformation in the church.

Try it. I don’t want to have to pull out my sword and get all “Old Testament” on you. (see Exodus 32)

13Oct200728Jan2015

Just Dorking Around

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

I’m not sure really what to say today. I should be working harder on my reading day, but I’ve had my mind on a lot of other things this week. This is a long weekend for us (a five day weekend for me!) and I think that makes it even harder to focus and get my work done. Lots of students have put together birthday parties and “night out”’s for this weekend so I’ve found myself with many fun things to draw my attention from my work. I have a paper to start on the church calendar (liturgical year / church year…) and a presentation to put together for my Old Testament class…plus I have a content quiz in O.T. and a midterm coming up in that class. Ugh!

Well, I should stop thinking about it and start doing something about it, so I’m logging off and buckling down!

12Oct200728Jan2015

The Church Is In Trouble!

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

The United Methodist Church is heading for trouble. In discussions with other seminarians, and through my own personal observations I see a deep lack of effective leadership. District Committees on Ordained Ministry and Conference boards are supposed to be the gatekeepers, but our church feels so desperate for pastors and in many places those boards are so clogged up with mediocre leadership (I am TOTALLY not talking about my BOM, by the way!) that we just allow people through. The church has developed a STANDARDIZED SYSTEM of tests to ‘weed out’ the bad apples. I guess these boards must think that if people can get through the rigorous (ridiculous) process then they must be okay.

This is not working! We can not assume that just because people get through the tests that they will be good pastors, and YES we need to qualitatively and, often, subjectively evaluate our candidates for ministry to make sure they are good! You see, high quality leadership tends to cultivate more people who have the skill sets needed for ministry with the ability for high quality leadership. Mediocrity only breeds mediocrity. The members of these boards of ordained ministry need to take a personal interest in the candidates for ministry. They need to visit them and really get to know their ministry styles, abilities and gifts. They need to REALLY know who they are approving as certified candidates and take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for them!

As a church we must stop accepting mediocrity. We should not be scared to stand up and demand ONLY THE BEST leadership. We should not be so wimpy as to not ask the hard questions and turn down the wrong people.

The ordained ministry is a sacred trust. We have already sacrificed that trust, now we must repair the damage the best we can.

09Oct200728Jan2015

A Birthday Gone Bad!

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

I can’t exactly sleep. I have just had the best and worst day ever. I enjoyed church this morning. It was nice to hang out in the High School sunday school room and it was great to sit in church with my mother and my grandmother.

I read all afternoon to catch up on my Old Testament course reading and then mom had a Birthday party for me. The Phillips family and my grandparents on the Carnes side all came up to the house and shared in a potluck and cake. My cousin Marc and his friend was even able to make it for a while. I enjoyed being with my family.

Unfortunately, I just can’t seem to get along with my father. After our guests left, the night did not go so well. I am no longer speaking to my father and I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to comfortably spend time in Pittsfield from now on.

It seems like we should just automatically love our parents. I don’t know how two related people allow themselves to come to such a point that they can not stand to be around one another. At first glance, God does not seem to like this, but, on the other hand, some of the greatest sagas of the Bible are about family members who have grievances with one another. I have struggled to forgive my father for my childhood all of my adult life, I really thought that I could. I thought I did, even, but I also know that I can’t forget what I went through growing up.

All I can hope for, now, is to find some peace through distance and hope that he can, as well.

08Oct200728Jan2015

Googlesnarks and the Hayride

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

What a great night we just had. I went home to see my parents for my birthday. They had already scheduled a Sunday School wiener roast and hay ride at the house, and somehow I managed to convince my mother that it was okay to do something on my birthday besides ‘dote on Scott’. I prefer it, in fact.

I didn’t know most of the people who came very well. Some I remembered from when I lived in Pittsfield before, but I quickly got to know all of them. What a great bunch of people. There were five elementary / middle school aged children that came with their parents, otherwise it was all adults. While we were out on the hay ride there was little girl sitting next to me who (you could tell) wanted to get the other littler kids to be scared. I turned her game around on her. I started talking to the woman next to me about the googelsnarks that live in the trees and grab little girls off of hay-rack rides… It was sooo funny. I laughed enough that she couldn’t quite tell if I was serious or not and then she would try to scare me.

It was such a relaxing fun night. I hope I have a chance to do more activities with the Pittsfield church.

05Oct200728Jan2015

A Twitch

Scott Carnes Finding My Way

This week I have had a twitch in my eye and a very sore neck. Hmmm… Wonder if it had anything to do with the Research Report due last night and the fact that I felt as though I was behind in my reading?

Stress has a different effect on all of us. If you had asked me whether or not I was stressed this week, I would have denied it. That isn’t just me *trying* to be modest. No. The truth is that we all find ourselves in self-denial sometimes. For me, this week it was the stress of school that I ignored until my body finally said, “HEY! Scott! Pay attention to your stress!”

Sometimes our self-denial manifests in our spiritual lives. There are times that I ignore my spiritual needs. Do you ever do that? Who really ever thinks, “Oh, yeah…I think I’m spiritually unhealthy this week?” There is a question that is very important, especially as United Methodists: “How is it with your soul?” The guy upstairs (not God, but literally the guy who lives in the dorm above me), often asks me, “How is it with your soul. I seldom respond with a very straight answer (sorry, Tim), but having that question asked of me on a regular basis has made me think more about my spiritual health.

This is a question that I ask us all to ponder. “How is it with your soul?” Take a dry erase marker and write it on your bathroom mirror or put this question up on your refrigerator door. Take moments throughout your week (or day) to think about how it is with your soul: looking beyond the everyday and looking to “the heart of the matter.”