Ozark Wedding

Last weekend I went to a wedding in Southern Missouri.  Now, first of all, I had a wonderful time.  This will seem surprising to some of you when I recount the story.  If you don’t know the couple and the context it will seem strange and unusual.

First of all, there was a hillbilly hot tub.  Andy, the owner of the camp where we were (camp, you say?  – yes, I’ll get to that), brought an old truck over by the bonfire (yes, I’ll get to this, too) lined the bed of the truck with a sheet of plastic and filled it with water.  He then setup a wood-burning stove and pump that runs off of a car battery and pumped the water out of the truck, through the stove and back into the bed of the truck.  This creates a hot tub which is the center of attention and a great deal of party fun….    I regret to admit I “forgot” my swimming suit and was not around for this photo.

So back to the wedding.  Jason and Clarissa met and grew up spending weeks of the summer at camp Taum Sauk each summer and then later both became camp counselors at said camp.  After years of knowing one another at camp they started dating as they went off to college and now, six years later, are married.  In itself this is a sweet story as their parents and friends talked about their many letters as child penpals and later falling in love.  It seems an obvious choice that they would want to go back to the camp where they grew up to get married.  But wait, there’s more.  Clarissa’s mother and father also got married at this camp which is near the small town where they live.

It turned out, though, that last weekend was cold and wet.  When I got to the camp with Carrie, I was in a grouchy mood.  It had nothing to do with the camp or the wedding or even Carrie.  No, I was crabby because through a series of unfortunately events… I didn’t get any sleep the night before (3 hours or so) and when we arrived they didn’t know where we should put our stuff or where we would be sleeping cause the cabins were unheated.  With the combination of a long drive, no sleep and no apparent accommodations (when all I wanted was a nap) I was feeling way grouchy and stressed.  Eventually they got us all settled in and I got to bed early and had a long and comfortable sleep.

Saturday was an fresh start.  I was refreshed and relaxed.  Carrie and I took a romantic walk through the woods and along the black river.  Everyone pitched in to setup for the wedding and reception.  It was different than holding a wedding in the city.  It was difficult to schlep everything to the “middle of nowhere” and there was not a hotel staff or large catering staff to take care of accomodations.

This might not be expected, but it was actually wonderful.  Everyone really felt they were a part of the wedding.  Mama Schuller would yell, “Scott, get your ass over here and lift this for me.” Btw, this is just a polite colloquialism to Lesa Schuller (mama) and the other folks at camp.

The wedding ceremony took place in a field nearby and after the ceremony the invited guests were encouraged to proceed towards the camp dining hall and help themselves to kegs of beer and hor d’œuvres around a bonfire while the wedding party took a hayride down through a horse pasture to the river for photos.

At this point I must digress.  My girlfriend’s twin sister, Katie, flashed me and all of the wedding party (and their significant others) with her boobs.  The bridesmaids were all where these strapless numbers and when she ran up from the river while taking her coat off…well…turns out the girls were “out and about” without her knowing it.

Anyway-  the only other thing I think I should mention was the amazing pig roast.  They roasted a whole hog for the guests to enjoy.  I hope you can appreciate that people (who missed the “business casual” message) were hanging out in a field, by a bonfire and taking hayrides in their suits.  It was, in some ways an odd sight but in everyway it was a wonderful way to spend my weekend.  The wedding was a complete success and all of the guests seemed to enjoy it thoroughly.